Wedding Handbook

Eligibility Requirements

The marriage policy of Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church, a member congregation of The Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod, is and always has been consistent with the Synod’s beliefs on marriage. We believe that marriage is a sacred union of one man and one woman (Gen. 2:24-25), and that God gave marriage as a picture of the relationship between Christ and His bride the Church (Eph. 5:32). The official position of The Lutheran Church— Missouri Synod, as set forth in 1998 Res. 3-21 (“To Affirm the Sanctity of Marriage and to Reject Same-Sex Unions”), is that homosexual unions come under categorical prohibition in the Old and New Testaments (Lev. 18:22, 24; 20:13; 1 Cor. 6:9-10; 1 Tim. 1:9-10) as contrary to the Creator’s design (Rom. 1:26-27). These positions and beliefs can be found on the LCMS website, along with other statements, papers and reports on the subject of homosexuality and same-sex civil unions and “marriage.” Our pastors will not officiate over any marriages inconsistent with these beliefs, and our church property may not be used for any marriage ceremony, reception or other activity that would be inconsistent with our beliefs and this policy.

Marriage at Grace is not a right of membership, but falls under the pastoral discretion of the Senior Pastor in consultation with the Board of Spiritual Life

For groom and bride who are members of Grace:

• Regular worship attendance and active participation of both groom and bride are required for at least one year before the wedding ; we encourage this pattern of regular worship and attendance to be maintained after the wedding as well.

• For new members, membership also requires completion of the new member class

• At least four (4) private pre-marital counseling sessions with the pastor are required.

• For groom or bride who are members of an LCMS congregation:

• Your pastor must contact the pastor of Grace prior to approval.

Scheduling Requirements

Both groom and bride must meet with pastor for liturgical planning and pre-marital counseling. The administrative secretary may schedule the initial meeting.

• The date for the wedding will not be set until the couple has met with pastor.

• The date for the wedding and/or booking for the reception will not be finalized until the couple has met with their wedding facilitator. The director will assign the wedding facilitator.

Liturgical Guidelines

Planning

• No weddings are conducted during the penitential seasons of Advent or Lent.

• No weddings are conducted before 10:00 am or after 7:00 pm

• Wedding rehearsal is required. Arrangements shall be made with the pastor.

• Wedding license must be given to pastor at the rehearsal.

• Clothing must be appropriate for a worship ceremony.

Participants

• The presiding minister shall be the pastor of Grace or another ordained minister of the LCMS designated by the pastor of Grace. Other assisting ministers, ordained or lay, may participate with the pastor’s approval.

• The musician shall be the musician of Grace or another musician delegated by the musician of Grace. Other musicians may participate with the musician’s approval.

Service Considerations

• The pastor must approve the service in its entirety.

• The paraments and altar appointments are white, since this Christian marriage is a figure for the union of Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:22-33)

• The music used for the liturgy is that which is associated with Christian worship. Music which is not explicitly associated with the Christian faith will not be used, including Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus”, Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March”, and other popular but non-Christian romantic music.

• All music is performed from the balcony.

• No pre-recorded music is to be used.

• All musical selections are approved by the parish musician and coordinated into the liturgy by the pastor.

• Flowers must be approved by the wedding facilitator. Real flowers are to be used in the sanctuary. Any plan for using artificial flowers must be approved by the wedding facilitator and pastor. No flowers are allowed beyond the communion rail.

• Wedding Coordinator must meet with any photographer or videographer prior to the rehearsal.

• Aisle candle stands (standards) may be used for weddings. This is optional. If these are used, then $25 charge will be assessed to cover the cost of the candles.

The Wedding Service

• The Liturgy for Marriage generally follows the order in the Lutheran Service Book (see sample on pages 6-8). The pastor will make a copy of this order available. The marriage liturgy closely resembles the style and customs of Sunday morning worship at Grace, inviting reverence and including participation from the entire congregation.

• The entire wedding party may enter from the narthex to the chancel or the groom and groomsmen may enter from the sacristy, leaving the bridal party to process.

• The congregation stands for the entrance of the bride only if the processional cross is used (an option which can include torchbearers). The crucifer (and torchbearers) will precede the bride into to the chancel. This visually shows us that Christ is our leader and the source of our life.

• The same pattern of the processional applies also for the recessional.

• Three lessons are read: First Lesson (Old Testament), Second Lesson (New Testament), and Gospel. These may be selected by the couple, with the pastor’s approval. The first two lessons may be read by assisting minister(s), ordained/lay.

• A psalm may be used between the Second Lesson and Gospel. This may be read or intoned by an assisting or the presiding minister, soloist, choir or congregation.

• The presiding minister shall deliver an appropriate homily.

• The vows shall be those in the L SB or the Agenda. Personal vows are not allowed.

• The rite of “Unity Candle” or “Christ Candle” may (optional) be used. This ceremony symbolizes that Christ is the center of the couple’s marriage. Grace Church does not provide this candle stand or candles.

• The couple may (optional) kiss after the benediction, before the recessional. If they choose to do so, it should be a brief kiss, appropriate for a worship setting.

Fee Structure

Wedding Ceremony or Blessing of Civil Marriage

Grace Members: $1,250

Non-Grace LCMS Members: $3,000

Use of Knippa Hall: $100

Rehearsal Dinner

Grace & LCMS Members: $150

Wedding Reception

Grace Members : $200

Non-Grace LCMS members: $600

Miscellaneous Fees

$50 charge if Brides Room or Graf Hall is not clean

$50 charge if Kitchen is not clean

$25 charge for aisle standard candles

Note: If the pastor for the wedding is from another LCMS congregation, then his fees will not be included in this structure. All fees must be paid to Grace Lutheran Church and given to the Wedding Coordinator at the initial meeting.

Wedding Facility Guidelines

Sanctuary, Brides Room, and Graf Hall

• Clean up is mandatory – please have someone designated to check for plugged in curling irons, pick up food and drink containers, trash and etc. A $50.00 fee will be assessed if area isn’t cleaned.

• NO alcohol is allowed in this area.

• NO rice, glitter, bird seed or confetti can be used inside or outside.

Knippa Hall and Kitchen

• Hall set-up directly with custodian.

• Wedding Coordinator and custodian must be present at close of event.

• Any reception that includes more than a wedding cake must have a designated caterer, who must speak to the Wedding Coordinator.

• Caterers must contact the Wedding Coordinator at least one month prior to the event.

• Knippa Hall and church area must be vacated no later than 11:00 PM.

• Alcoholic beverages may be served in Knippa Hall or the Courtyard area only. Beverages are limited to white wine, champagne, bottled or canned beer.

• NO fountains of any kind, no red wine, red punch or keg beer can be served.

• NO rice, glitter, birdseed or confetti.

• Use of linens, china, crystal, glassware or silver is available for a fee (see page 9). The wedding facilitator will contact LWML if this is desired.

• The kitchen and hall must be cleaned as when you found it. At least 6 people are needed for clean up. The Wedding Coordinator does not clean up, but will be present for assistance and lock up.

• All lights and kitchen equipment must be turned off, all candles extinguished.

• Never should doors be propped open – have attendant at door if admitting guests.

Contact Information

Rev. Christopher Hall

srpastor@glctulsa.org 918-592-2999

• Pastor Hall will schedule an appointment for consultation and will forward your request to a Wedding Coordinator. If the couple desires the Associate Pastor to preside, Pr. Hall will forward this information and further consultation to him.

Mrs. Marjorie Hall, Parish Musician

mhall@glctulsa.org 918-592-2999

• All musical selections are coordinated with and approved by the parish musician.

Wedding Coordinator

918-592-2999

• The Coordinator will consult with couple/family to reserve church, Knippa Hall if rehearsal dinner or reception is at Grace. Five hours with coordinator is included in fee, any hours over 5, will be at an additional cost of $20 per hour.

Last revised: October 2019